Today is Koen Michael Hebert’s birthday! Named after the man who raised me, Fred Michael Hebert, my Dad!

Finding out I was pregnant came as a shock! I was 6 months out of rehab & on birth control pills. The guy I was pregnant for had a girlfriend that he did not tell me about! Kaildyn was 10 and the least happy. His thoughts were, can we give it away when it comes out of you because this is a big responsibility. He was right, and I considered my options. It was a long, difficult, lonely journey. Moving from family to friends to strangers homes until right before I gave birth & we finally got into our own place. We had so many people love me while I could not love myself.

I checked myself into a mental hospital, during my pregnancy for disturbing thoughts. January 22, 2014 was my last suicide attempt and my entry into rehab. I had tried taking myself off my meds while pregnant. That was a bad idea. Getting an OB at that time seemed impossible. I was spotting and they could not find a heart beat. Hospitals thought it was an ectopic pregnancy or it was twins and one passed. My mom is a twin so that could have been true (during this pregnancy we lost my Aunt Brenda. She had a bladder infection that went too long without care, and the infection spread through her blood. I was the one who took her to the Dr. And then the emergency room). They were talking to me about doing a DNC. A good friend’s, Mom helped me get Dr. Elias. I met that good friend, Sean while in detox. He is no longer here with us due to suicide.

I had just gained 40 pounds getting clean. I was walking death at 92 pounds. During my pregnancy, I gained 50 more pounds. I was miserable and my feet took the beating. This was an excruciating pregnancy.
The week of February 25, 2015 I felt like something was wrong. I was in pain, I was dizzy. Dr. Elias was preparing me for a C-section because Koen was breached. I was terrified. Giving birth without a significant other is difficult and scary. My sister, Ashley was there for me.
February 24, I had a check up, 1 month before his due date. Dr. E asked, are you ready to have this baby? I said yes! My feet were killing me. I was dilating.

Went visit my mom after my appointment and I was complaining about my back hurting. She said, “come here Kim,” placed her hand on my belly and said , “you are having contractions”. My sister and I packed my bag and made our way to the hospital where they tried to stop the labor. Through out the night, they were unsuccessful so Dr. E scheduled my C-section.

February 25 was a wed. And some time after noon I had a baby boy born. I will never forget the moment I heard him cry and I burst into tears. My immediate thought was I can’t believe I even considered abortion.. what a gift I received that day. The journey has never been easy, but it’s been a journey well worth it.

This child has such a Bold personality that lights up any room! He makes friends with anyone and everyone, every where he goes! He has an old soul with such beautiful empathy! He has an incredible way of understanding people. He has my artistic touch and his father’s picky eating habits.

I have been truly blessed to have this amazing soul that I share my journey with. Happy birthday my baby, you are now 7!